Contact me megdezutti@yahoo.com
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One year ago today we saw Sam for the first time. It was around 1 pm and evidently I hadn’t checked my email in a while, because our agency director called me and asked me to do so. I started shaking and making incoherent dolphin sounds. I called Gregg and couldn’t find him at work so had my secretary call every number we had for him. He got to my office around 1:30 and we opened the email together to see this glorious, sweet face:
 our tiny 12 lbs baby That was then, this is now:
 our big 23 lbs boy 
Look at the ticker on the right. See that? Less than 90 days until the AWBC. WOW.
I WILL NOT train on a treadmill because the AWBC isn’t on a treadmill, with all that cushioning. Nope, it’s on asphalt and cement, so I train on asphalt and cement. That means OUTSIDE. That means I have to wait until there’s no ice on the sidewalks and its over 30 degrees outside. This year, it also means I want sunny weather and ideally 45+ because Sammy walks (okay, strolls) with me. I don’t want to miss 2+ hour chunks with him on the weekends.
Today it was SUNNY and 45 degrees and all of the snow was in the process of melting. It was FINALLY our chance to get outside and get some miles in.
 A less than enthusiastic Sam ready for our walk Only problem: my knee. Oh, and the rain. First things first, I have severe osteoarthritis in both knees. Worse right than left. I’ve had 2 surgeries on the right and need a third soon. I was going to postpone it with the new Synvisc injection…but our insurance just switched from a PPO to an HMO and now I need to find a new ortho surgeon…so I’m hobbling along on 2x the daily dosage of Glucosamine & an Ace wrap. We were good for the first 30-35 minutes, and then the sun went behind clouds and a fine mist started coming down. If it was warmer…or if Sam wasn’t with me, I would have stayed out, but not with Sammy in tow.
So we headed in. Then my knee REALLY gave out. I’m now sitting in sweats with an Icy-Hot wrap and an Ace on top. The knee is better…and I can actually walk w/ the combo on. So we’ll see. We got about 3-4 miles in. I’m slightly disappointed but it is what it is.
If possible, I’ll do 2-6 miles next weekend, then an 8 & 6, then 10 & 8, etc. In the end, I want 20 on Saturday and 15 on Sunday. That will be the week before AWBC. Then I rest Memorial Day weekend, then it’s the Walk.
If you want to support me, please click the button on the sidebar. I know it’s a recession, I know a lot of people are out of work. But if everyone I know gave $5…WOW.
you will purchase THIS
right now.
This, my friends, is the Tangle Teaser (or, as it’s referred to in our house: The Holy Miracle Worker.) I first heard of the Tangle Teaser from Joyful Mom over at Happy Girl Hair. BTW, if you haven’t been over there, go NOW.
Joyful mom posted a review of Sir Tangle Teaser (hey, he’s British after all) which I thought was too good to be true. And you know me, if it sounds too good to be true…then I’m likely to try it.
Sam’s hair has grown SO FAST and the curls are now 4-5 inches when stretched out. It gets very snarly in the back and we have to detangle daily which results in hitting, tears, screaming, more tears, more hitting, flayling, and more tears. It’s awful. You would think I was stabing him for all the fuss he makes. But this crazy looking plastic brush slide through his snarly curls “like BUDDA.”
Now, I know I can be prone to exaggeration, but this time I’m 100% on the level. It is the best $15 you will ever spend on your child. It will stop breakage from snarles and the tears involved in getting them out. It’s also good on your hair (mine is super-shiny after I brush with the TT.)
I KNOW I sound like an infomercial here, but seriously this brush is amazing. Try it. And if you have any friends with black children or bringing black IA kids home, buy them one.
Funny story about our utter lack of parenting skills.
Sam has been walking around with his right hand up at his ear and his head tilted to the right for a couple weeks. He hasn’t had a fever or any other signs, but we felt sure it was a mild ear infection. He wasn’t holding the left ear, just the right. He has his 18 mos check-up soon so since he’s not in any distress, we figured it could wait.
Yesterday he started saying HELLO really loud when he put his hand up to his ear. Then, he put his hand out to G. We looked at each other and at the same time yelled “he’s talking on the phone!” How stupid are we? We thought our son had an ear infection but instead he was mimicking talking on the phone.
Oh, and today when I attempted to talk to him while he was “on the phone” he puts up 1 finger, as if to say “excuse me, can’t you see I’m talking here?” WOW.
I think you all know how much I love my friend Sandi. She has been instrumental in our adoption/new parenthood process. She has offered advice, understanding, love and quite a few Mr. Paul outfits for Sam’s little body. But in addition to being a wonderful friend, and an inspirational mom, she is quite possibly the world’s finest quilter.
Exhibit A:
 Piece of Africa quilt We’ve had Exhibit A for many months. We have napped on it, peed on it, washed it, had a dog pee on it, washed it, played on it, and used it as a piece of home when traveling. It’s soft and cuddly and vibrantly colored. When Sandi found out just how much we love this quilt, she made this for Sam:
Exhibit B
 Samuel banner I encourage you to visit Sandi’s Etsy shop. She has pre-made and will do custom projects as well; she’s very reasonably priced. While you’re there, look around Etsy in general. I think you’ll pleasantly surprised by the amount of artistic moms and artistic APs. Sigh! such inspiration.
And for those who need a Sammy fix (’cause he’s like heroine):
A recent CBS news investigation that all APs need to see.
I do have friends (different agency than CWA) who have had almost the exact same experience: children were presented as younger ages, physically and mentally healthy & whole (girls have total FGM, Hep B, HIV, boy has seizures and moderate MR.) They found out via the video w/ the birth mom that the birth mom told the truth about EVERYTHING, but the in-country staff lied in the translation. The transition house staff was very good friends with the birth mom and absolutely positively knew EVERYTHING. Possibly most disturbing, the oldest daughter told my friend and her husband (when she had a better command of English) that they was told she was coming to America to become a doctor and then would go back to Ethiopia.
What are APs to do if we cannot trust the agencies we have thoroughly researched? Keep in mind, according to the Joint Commission, American agencies are directly liable for their in-country representatives, orphanages, transitional houses and attorneys. Period.
I look at my sweet baby boy and my heart breaks. Do we believe the paperwork? The affidavits and depositions from police and intake centers? Do we trust that Sammy was a true orphan? I just don’t know what the think.
Yes I need a hysterectomy…but that’s several (read: over 5) months away. In the meantime we need to get the pain and (sorry, TMI) severe bleeding taken care of or at least lessened. On my last visit my fabulous gyne (seriously, I would love to have coffee and chat with her outside the office) told me I needed a transvaginal sonohysterogram.
This is a lovely procedure whereby you drink a sh*tload of water, don’t pee, have a catheter inserted up into the uterus, try not to pee on the ultrasonographer, saline is pumped into the uterus, you continue trying not to pee on the ultrasonographer, and a transvaginal ultrasound is used to look at the uterus …while you try not to pee on the ultrasonographer. Hmmm, fun!
But using this diagnostic tool will help her better understand what we’re dealing with and MAY result in some good treatment options and YEAH some pain management. So, I’m willing to go forward.
Now, the one sticking point is you need to have this test between days 5-9 of your cycle. And well, I don’t know when that’s going to be in advance. My cycle could be 15 days or 45. I don’t know until it’s HERE. When my little friend arrived on Friday, I called my gyne’s office to schedule the test:
ME: Hi, I need to schedule a sonohysterogram with Dr. N.
Girl on the phone (GOTP): When do you need it scheduled for?
ME: Next week. I’m available Tuesday-Thursday.
GOTP: our ultrasonographer is booked all week. Why didn’t you call earlier?
ME: Because I didn’t know I was going to have my period until today.
GOTP: then you’ll have to schedule the test for next month. We need some lead time to get you in.
ME: but I don’t know I’m going to have my period until I’m having my period.
GOTP: Well, is your cycle 28 days?
ME: Nope. I don’t know I’m going to have my period until I’m having my period. It could be 15 days or 45.
GOTP: So you don’t know in advance?
ME: No. And that’s probably why I need this test. I have erratic bleeding and endo pain.
GOTP: Well, I need to schedule this test in advance.
ME: But it needs to take place between days 5-9 of my cycle, right?
GOTP: Yes. Do you know when that will be next month?
ME: No.
GOTP: Can you guess?
ME: No.
GOTP: Well I don’t know how I can help you if you don’t tell me when your period is.
ME: I cannot tell you something I don’t know myself.
GOTP: Well, call next month when you are having your period.
ME: Won’t we run into the same problem? The ultrasonographer will be booked?
GOTP: Most likely, yes.
ME: So when am I supposed to have the test?
GOTP: Days 5-9 of your cycle. But we need to schedule it in advance.
ME: okay. Thanks. I’ll call back.
I’m not kidding you. That was the actual conversation. You’d think they’d have a back-up plan for us crazy-erratic girls.
This weekend was a very magical weekend. I had a girl’s weekend with Kate & Meron. Yup. No husbands (left them at home to lay diagonally across the marital bed and soak up the sans-kid-n-wife time.) Just Kate, Meron, Me & Sam. Okay, Sam’s a guy, but still…
It was a true honest-to-goodness girl’s weekend, complete with: a total disregard for diet (copious amounts of pizza, Doritos, and tiramisu were consumed), shopping, singing and dancing to 80s pop songs, and loads of conversation. It was, in a word: fabulous.
Sam and Meron got along great nicely. Well, Meron tried to kiss & hug him, and he wasn’t really interested, but otherwise it was fine. He enjoyed playing with a big girl, and considering they are both the only children in their respective homes, they did a nice job sharing toys. Both had an utter lack of naps, and quite a few melt-downs, but that’s really to be expected. Sweetest moment: when Sam denied Meron a hug and she said, “oh, but I really LOOOOOVE him!” with the cutest pout on her face! Of course, we didn’t get sufficient photos…because we were constantly rangling 2 toddlers.
Kate and I got along fabulously and I truly could not ask for a better friend. You can have close friends, but there are few you can stand a weekend with in a small hotel room with 2 sleep-deprived toddlers. We had no problems. I think that really speaks volumes.
 I didn't think it possible, but this girl is even more gorgeous in person  chilling with juice and pretzels at the Mall of America  indoor amusement park at Mall of America  only picture of all 4 of us together: note the kids are DONE and ready to go home Traveling with a toddler and without G was trying. Really trying. Sam is a very good-natured sweet boy…but he needs regular naps and good sleep at night. He got neither, poor thing. Tips for traveling (which I really wish someone would have told me…boo-hiss to all of you):
1. BRING YOUR PACK-N-PLAY. I’m not kidding. Do it. You’ll thank me. Sam is a crib sleeper so I figured we’d be fine. We would have. But the crib they brought to the room was tiny and metal…I swear it was the same crib we had in Ethiopia. He usually sleeps in the corner with his head in the bumper. Needless to say, when he tried to do that, he hit his head on the metal and woke himself up.
2. DO NOT STAY AT AN EMBASSY SUITE. The atrium makes it WAY too loud for kids. We thought it’d be perfect with the 2 rooms and pull-out sofa. But Sam would have woken up with the noise from the atrium, had we stayed in the living room, and the sofa bed was slightly less comfortable than sleeping on the floor. So we moved the mattress to the bedroom floor with all of us sleeping in 1 room. Of course, the floor mattress was far from comfortable, and when 1 child awoke, the other did as well.
3. Be prepared for flight delays. I travel a lot for work and haven’t had a flight delay in 7 years. It didn’t occur to me we’d have a 2 hr delay on the way home. But Sam was a trooper because I had adequate bribes (ie: loads of apple juice & pretzels, and got rice at lunch (his favorite) at a sushi place in the food court.) Sam was awful on the flight out…but much better back because I never took him out of the lap belt so it did not occur to him to get out and walk the aisles.
4. Bring more toys than you think you’ll need. Sam and Meron got pretty stir crazy just after 30 minutes in the hotel room.
5. Bring more clothing for yourself than you think you’ll need. I brought too many outfits for Sam and only 3 days worth for me. Of course, spills and messing eating made me look like a refugee.
All that said, it was a wonderful weekend.
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Not of My Flesh, Not of My Bone, but Still Miraculously My Own. Never Forget for a Single Minute, You Didn't Grow Under My Heart, but In it.
~Fler Heylinger
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